Easier to run
by DarkHybridChild
Summary: Mokuba thinks of how he loves his big brother...incest M/S R&R Sonfic


DA/DSK: O.O WOW! This is my first Incest story ive ever written..I got inspired by it from my LP CD..thats hard to think ne?  
  
DMK: Your fuccked up in the head!  
  
DNK: Language lil bro!  
  
DMK: I dont care! She is!  
  
DA/DSK: *knocks out DMK* Anyways,,  
  
DRB: Now that this is done..  
  
DYM: Mandi-chan doesnt own Yugioh!  
  
DMK: *out cold* X_X  
  
DA/DSK: ON WITH THE FICCIE!  
  
*Its easier to run replacing this pain with something numb its so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone*  
  
I sit here on my bed. Here we go. Its happening again. The pain comes back everytime I see big brother. All of this. I feel this feeling deep down inside pulling at me to tell him. But I cannot. The Pain and fear of rejection etches away at me inside. I just wish it would go away and leave me alone. I never thought that trying to hide your feelings were so hard. I Think im getting to be like Seto...Hiding your emotions all the time..  
  
*something has been taken from deep inside of me a secret ive kept locked away no one can ever see*  
  
All my life it feels like something has been missinf in my life and I know something has. Love. Sure I know big brother loves me but thats just brotherly love. I, on the other hand. Love my brother more than that. Yes I know your thinking. "But thats just wrong,' True I know it is, but im not ashamed. Now that my secrets out that ive kept hidden is finally out I guess It doesnt matter now...  
  
*wounds so deep they never show they never go away like moving picutres in my head from years and years theyve played*  
  
Anyways. All my life as I said I was missing love. I look down at thhe the scars my my arms and body. Im sitting here in my bedroom in my boxers thinkling. I had just gotten out of the shower when big bro came home. I tried my best not to blush when he came in but its so damn hard! Lets see YOU try hiding your emotions away from the one you love! Anyways...Ive had all these scars from either trying to kill myself or Gozaburo..When Set and me were little Gozaburo used to beat Seto. But once he beat me. Seto never forgave him for that. And to this day I know he still doesnt. All these memories flash through my head. Theyve always been with me for these years. Playing back over and over again.  
  
*If I could change I would take back the pain I would retrace ever wrong move I made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would If I could take all my shame to the grave I would  
  
If I could change I would take back the pain I would retrace ever wrong move I made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would I would take all my shame to the grave*  
  
I often try to change to be more like my brother. But to me it seems like I never can. If only I could take back the pain that he went through. I know I never can but I wish I could try. Im dressed now and its late. Its raining alot now. I hear big brother at the computer typing away. If only I could go back and re-make all the wrong things I ever did. Im sure it would make things alot easier for Seto...But whats done is done. If only I could though...Seto's always taken the blame for me and him. But for once I wish I could stand up for him and take the blame. Hes been through so much I know its hard on him..I look out the window into the storm. The balcony calls out to me. I open the doors and walk out onto them, rain pouring on me. I walk to the edge and look over it. It was a long way down. If only...I stand up on the side, holding onto the pillar for support. I wish I could take all this greif and shame and pain with me. Away from my big brother. But I know it would cause more for him.   
  
Oh shit! I hear big brother. I jump down from the edge and stand there. Big brother comes in and asks me what Im doing. I answer I was just watching the storm. I think he knows what I was doing but doesnt press it and tells me to come back in and then he leaves. I turn back and watch the lightning. I was always scared of it. But for once in my life, Im not. It actually seems welcoming. But I do as my brother says and go in.  
  
*Its easier to run replacing this pain with somethin numb its so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone*  
  
Ive always ran from my fear. Going to my big brother, running and hiding from it. Now I cant hide. Im stuck with it now. I cant go to my big brother because he is my fear. I cant tell him I love him. I know he wouldnt feel the same. Besides, It would be too bad for his comanpy if it happened. But..Its too hard to face this pain by myself.  
  
*Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past bringing back these memories I wish I didnt have*  
  
I watch all the memories flash through my mind. All of the memories of Seto and me. The orphanage. Gozaburo. All of the years...Some of these memories I really wish I didnt have them. But im stuck with them for life.  
  
*Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back And never moving forward so ther'd never be a past*  
  
Sometimes I often think of leaving and not ever looking back but then Id never move forward. But then again if I did that id never really have a past so it wouldnt matter. I hear the click of the computer from Seto's room. I hear his bathroom door shut. A blush creeps up on my face at the thought. Bad thoughts. Stop it Mokuba! God I can be horny sometimes..But ll of these years I just wish I could do something for big brother insted of the other way around..  
  
*If I could change I would take back the pain I would retrace ever wrong move I made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would If I could take all my shame to the grave I would  
  
If I could change I would take back the pain I would retrace ever wrong move I made I would If I could stand up and take the blame I would I would take all my shame to the grave*  
  
Alot of these scars I have are from me. Ive done alot of these because of my foolish delusions of me and my brother. It will never be and it will never happen Mokuba, get over it. I really wish I could but its too hard. I look at the blade ive hidden in my bed mantle...I really want to but if i do...That would cause big brother to..Its been 4 years since Battle City, we're still close. Im thankful for that because if we wernt..Id never get a chance to see big brother much. I hear the shower go off and the bathroom fan go on. Another blush creeps up on my face. Come on Mokuba. Stop these perverted thoughts of yours! I sigh and wait. I hear his bathroom door open. I know hes in his BEWD boxers. I get into bed fast and, big brother comes in and tucks me in though im old enough to do it myself.   
  
I guess he still feels its responcibility to take care of me. Im grateful for that. he kisses my forehead and I cant help but let a small blush creep out. thankfull I always had a red tint on my face so it didnt show much. He closes the door. I turn on my yes, BEWD nightlight and sit up. I hear his bedroom door close. I sit up and sigh, The only time I ever get to be with him is when hes sleeping. He'll never know. I stay with him all night. Watching over him, protecting him from nightmares. and before his alarm goes off, im gone.  
  
*Just washing it aside All of the helplessness inside Pretending I dont feel missplaced is so much simpler than change*  
  
Ive always tried to be like Seto. Wash away my helplessness inside and out of me and pretend I dont feel missplaced, acting like ive always fit in. Because its so much simpler then change. I dont want to. I look at the clock and gets up. I creep out of my room. Thank good for no squeaky doors and no wooden floor. I walk to big brothers room and open the door silently and look in. Hes sound asleep. Man, all of that work really gets to him. I pull over his computer chair and sit there by the side of his bed and watch him.   
  
*Its easier to run replacing this pain with somethin numb its so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone*  
  
Hell never know that I love him. Hell never know that I watch him when he sleeps. A silent guardian is what I am and hell never figure it out. I see him start to stirr. I hold my breath and see him turn my way. His face is gentle and soft but her has a pained expression on. He probally has a nightmare. I reach out and touch his face and run my finger alone the outline of his. I see the pained expression dift off. His face now a genuine calm. I smile and lean my elbows on the bed, my chin resting on my hands. He seems so. I dont know the word to describe it. plesant and peaceful when hes sleeping. No more sheilds and no more hardness. Hes free to be himself. He has soo much emotions built up inside of him I dont know how he deals with it. I barely can. I wonder what hes dreaming about sometimes.   
  
I know its not about me. I sometimes wish it was. I sigh softly and I see big brother sigh. 'Mokuba.." he sighs. I twits my face into a puzzled look. Whats he dreaming? I have nbo clue but i reach out and touch his face. I sigh. This is as good as im ever gonna get to being with him. Its now 4:50 AM big brothers goint to be getting up at 6:00..I sigh and look at him. I start to get up and walk away but i hear a soft whimper and a groan. I whip around to see a pained look and fear etched in his face. I walk back over and sit on the edge of the bed and stroke my hand over his face and run my hand through his hair gently. Seto's supposed to be a light sleeper. evedently not im im sitting here doing this. His face goes back to normal. I smile and my eyes go over him. His tense muscles are now relaxed and calm. His face isnt twisted into a hard cold scowl but its normal and calm. I smlie.  
  
Sometimes I wish he would always be like this. Never cold, never tense. I lean down by his face and whisper softly. "You will never know I love you.." Oh god Im so close. I cant. I wont. But my body isnt listning I lean farther down and my lips touch his. It was soft and gentle. I pull back. Scared that he would wake up. He didnt. I wanted to go farther. But i willed myself not to. I slowly and silently climbed in with him. I felt his arms go around me.   
  
*Its easier to run replacing this pain with somethin numb its so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone*  
  
I sigh and relax into his embrace. This was as close as I was going to get to him. Its painful knowing the one whos always there to help you out is the one whos the problem..So now I have to face this alone and by myself. I cant run away this time. Im so numb from all this. I turn around to face him again. "Thats right big brother..This time i'll be there for you.." I whisper and I fall asleep in his embrace.  
  
*Its so much easier to run than face all this pain here all alone..*  
  
DA/DSK: Done! Wow that was my first incest ficcie. O.O I say it turned out good for my first time...  
  
DMK: Oh my god...You did NOT write about me and you...*faints*  
  
DA/DSK: Get over it besides, you sat through my lemon whats diff from Incest?  
  
DMK: well..  
  
DA/DSK: It was a statement not a question...  
  
DMK: Oh yeah..  
  
DNK: *snickers* DMK AND DSK SITTIN IN A TREE-  
  
DRB: *bonks DNK with his frying pan of d00m* SHUT UP YOU MORTAL!  
  
DNK: *out cold*  
  
DA/DSK: Thank you DRB  
  
DRB: Welcome!  
  
DYM: REVIIIIEW PLEASE! 


End file.
